Calf Roped

By Ronald E. Hignight

OK! Enough already! All you wing nuts meeting at CPAC listen up! We are throwing in the towel. Hear us? You want smaller government and we are ready to deal! How small do you want this new government? Hell, let’s get with it and cut the whole shebang down by 2/3rds, what do you say? The lines may get a little long at Social Security but, what the hell, those lines are just full of old farts anyway. We will end up with a much thinner ‘green line’ (I’m not talking about ecology either, mind you; I’m talking military green), but, what the hell, we will just aim a whole load of missiles at everyone that ain’t American – that should protect us. We can turn 2/3rds of the military personnel back to work in our mighty industrial complex, right?

And, as I understand it, you don’t want to reform a damned thing, right? OK! Status quo it is. In fact, we will help you sell the idea that the current economic downturn is actually a myth started by elitist left wing liberals hell bent on destroying the U.S.! They are the ones that mysteriously caused the auto industry decline, wrecked our Wall Street, and persuaded bankers to engage in something almost like racketeering, right?

We need Dick Cheney! We want either Michele Bachman or Sarah Palin as his running mate. They both have outstanding credentials for running the most powerful nation on earth! And that could come into play as Cheney does have a small ailing heart, right? Who cares as long as he is strongly backed with ‘stick-to-it’ character. Or maybe, we might like to see Gov. Pawlenty because, in a pinch, he will just let God take over and run things. Now, I like the sound of that and am not really too curious just which God that is as long as it’s a God. And, of course, that couldn’t be the money God, right?

Let’s get it on. No more gaffing. Make Fox news the ministry of propaganda good information. Git’er done!